I'm Just the Writer

Originally posted to my personal blog on September 30, 2015.

In high school I wrote a short piece of fiction regarding writer's block.  The protagonist of the story, a writer, is taking a stroll through the world she has created, admiring the many elements and characters she is surrounded by, when she is stopped abruptly by the appearance of a brick wall. She tries desperately to get around the mass, attempting to walk around it, climb it, and even break it down by ramming into it with her shoulder.

I won't spoil how it ends--if you want to know, you can click this link and read it yourself.  The reason I am bringing this up is because at one point in the story I mention something about being the "God of this universe" and how I am in control of everything that happens.  While it is true, to a degree, there is a degree of falsehood as well, something that I only just learned yesterday.

I have been spending some time working on a story that I was really excited about.  I knew certain elements of the story--characters, setting, some of the events--but for some reason that I couldn't figure out, I had no idea what the actual plot was.  What was the purpose of the story?  Why were the characters acting the way they were or doing the things they were doing?  After weeks of hammering and poking and prodding I decided yesterday to give up on it, at least temporarily, and turn to another story.

The second story I chose to work on has a plot, as well as a basic outline for what I think will happen (when it comes to writing, nothing is set in stone until it is done).  I began rereading what I have already written of this story and as I did a switch was flipped and a light came on in my mind.  I knew what was wrong in the first story.  I knew why it wasn't working, why I was struggling.

You see, the whole premise for the story came about from a little "what if" that I had one day about two classic fiction characters.  I had imagined that one of them, the male character, had gotten his powers from the female character and that the two of them had fallen in love (basically).  The idea was intriguing, inspiring, to the point where I had to write it, to make it happen somehow.

I'm not sure how it happened, but I reached a point where the direction I was going with the story, what I had been trying to make the story do, was so far from that original idea that it didn't even exist anymore.  The male character hadn't fallen in love with that female character and who they were as people was completely off from what I had initially imagined.  I had over complicated the story, tried to put together puzzle pieces that didn't make sense and that weren't even supposed to be on the same board.  I tried to write what I wanted, not what happens in the story, and that was my biggest mistake.

When it comes to writing, yes, as the writer I have the power to do whatever I want.  I can decide whether someone will live or die in the story, whether the hero turns out to be the villain, or whether the monsters are all in your head.  I can write whatever I want.  But, if I want to be a good writer, if I want to actually create something worth reading, I have to listen to the story.  I have to step aside when what I want contradicts what actually has to happen.

What non-writers don't get is that when it comes to writing fiction the story isn't just something we make up on the fly.  It isn't some witty comeback that suddenly pops into our head when it is most convenient.  We don't create it all by ourselves and by our own merits alone.  It's more than us, more than just our own desires and experiences.  It's an entity all its own.  It exists, out in the universe, and it's waiting to be told.  Waiting for the right person to come and stay long enough to listen.  To tell the story contrary to what it actually is, is to lie.

I am not some omniscient being who knows all, sees all, controls all.  I am an observer watching the events unfold and recording them as they take place.  I am a detective, piecing together the parts of the story and pressing forward until the mystery is solved and the tale is complete.  I am a friend, listening to the characters as they reveal their secrets, their hopes, dreams, and their deepest regrets. 

I am not a god.  I'm just the writer.